National Tape Measure Day

Author’s note: Yes, I’ve been away from here for a while, but I haven’t stopped writing. I’ve decided to come back to this blog to post some things I have to say, although most probably will not be about Hartford. Some, like this essay, will be from my archive of essays not previously published here, and some will be new. If you’re new to my blog and want to be notified when new material appears, please send me a message with your email address and I’ll add you to my list. Thanks.

You probably missed it, but last month the country celebrated National Tape Measure Day. On July 14, 1868 the United States Patent Office issued a patent to Alvin J. Fellows of New Haven for a device that featured a retractable cloth tape measure. Fellows’ tool was the ancestor of the modern spring-loaded, retractable metal tape measure. We remember the event each year on July 14.

I sent a friend an email to mark the day. He responded he “would never have guessed that the first patent is so old, that there would be a ‘national day,’ nor that you and I would be keen about it all.”

Keen about it, indeed.

The French seem to think July 14 was memorable for some other reason but frankly, I didn’t immediately remember why. I mean, I knew it had something to do with the invention of the guillotine, or the availability of cake for the masses, or what happens when you let a bunch of crazies run your world, or something. Just thinking those things caused some interesting connecting and reconnecting in my brain and, voila!, the Bastille! Okay, so I remember now why the French care about National Tape Measure Day.

But really, what’s more important? That some oppressed people with probably pretty good reason got all riled up, rioted and began a process of change that led to Napoleon’s rule and eventually the formation of a unified French nation, or that some guy in New Haven, Connecticut explained to the world how to measure materials conveniently, improving dramatically both the speed and the accuracy with which buildings are constructed and all manner of other things are made?

As the result of one event, we have modern French cuisine, French wine, French style. It’s all nice, I suppose, and by the measure of some people, it’s the pinnacle of human cultural beauty. Go to Paris to see the best art, taste the best food, hear the best (if not all native) music, enjoy the best of romantic relationships, with beautiful men and women, beautifully attired, now or soon to be happily captivated by their partners. It is glorious.

On the other hand, the guy next door, who’s been remodeling his house outside and in for two years, would be nearly at a loss without his tape measure.  He could have done all he’s done without it, of course; he could have used string with knots strategically tied. But it would have been a lot more work, and he would have made a lot more mistakes.

The tape measure is universal.  The guy building a house in Cambodia uses his tape measure every day; he probably never thinks about French wine. The woman designing a clinic in Zimbabwe uses a tape measure but never wears, or even aspires to wear, a Dior gown. Even the French use tape measures.

I rode to lunch with a friend in his pickup truck. I commented about the tape measure on the dashboard.  His was one of those big, fat tape measures, probably 30 feet long, with the classic metal tape, slightly curved so it will stand vertically 10 or 12 feet without folding over and still return quickly to its case with the press of a button. He told me that whenever he buys a new pickup truck, the first accessory he buys for it is a tape measure.

I mentioned National Tape Measure Day to another friend recently. He launched into an animated discussion of his tape measures (who doesn’t have more than one?) and his folding rulers. He admitted that his folding rulers are his favorites. Folding rulers once were essential to the work of builders and craftsmen everywhere; now they’re largely forgotten, having been replaced by the retractable tape measure. He has three folding rulers, one that measures in tenths of an inch instead of the standard English fractional measures, and another that is only two feet long, made of four six-inch sections, hinged to fold open and closed. Those are beauties, but who needs a two-foot ruler?  Someone, I suppose.

I remember as a kid watching workers pull their six-foot folding rulers from the specialized storage pocket in their jeans, snapping those babies open and shut almost instinctively. I remember my pleasure, my joy, when I acquired my first folding ruler. I manipulated it much more than I ever used it, enjoying the feel and sound as it snapped exactly into place as I opened and closed it. My friend reminded me of that slender brass extendable ruler built into one end, perfect for taking the inside measure of things. (By the way, tape measures also can handle most inside measures; that’s why the hook on the end isn’t fixed but moves just a bit)

Of course, the advent of laser measuring devices probably marks the beginning of the end for the venerable retractable tape measure. Eventually, the technology of measuring will pass fully into the digital age. My retractable tape measure will be largely forgotten at the bottom of my tool box, along with my folding ruler and my chalk-line-snapping-plumb-bob thingy, all relics of more primitive times.

But for now, for one day a year, we can unite and storm the home improvement stores! Down with the French! Let them eat cake! Want to cut a 2×4, 5 feet, 2 and 7/16? Home Depot has just what you need.